She gets tripped up on numbers  … and technology is definitely not her thing.

Other than those two, however, she’s pretty good at everything she puts her mind to – kids, crafts, history, trivia. A list of her abilities would take up a post all by itself.

But, truthfully, words are her specialty. Over the 32 years I’ve been with her she has purchased upteen dictionaries. They’re hidden around the house and in the   crevices of our car. She loves to look up words to find out their meanings – and even looks up those she already knows just to make sure there aren’t any additional meanings.

When Chuck Norris can’t figure out what word to use … he asks Shirley.

She is quick to realize that not everyone is like her, but one of her biggest pet peeves is those who are supposed to know but don’t.  Like newscasters.  Or talk show hosts.

One of our hobbies is going through vocabulary books to build her word power … and consequently, mine.  Like The Most Important 1500 Words Every Person Should Know.  Or The Second Most Important 1500 Words Every Person Should Know.

She really wants to commit to memory the difference between enormity and enormous.   She finds little tidbits of information fascinating and brings me along for the journey.

“Hey, Bill, did you know that amnesty can only be granted to a group of people?  If it’s just one person it is a pardon.”

“Did you know that to peruse a book doesn’t mean to skim or to read rapidly?  It means to study it or read it with great care.”

I guess, to be honest, I would would admit to “perusing” God’s Word in the traditional understanding (skimming it) whereas God would actually love for me to be guilty of perusal in the truest sense (study it and read it with great care).

Grant it, I’m not going to know everything about every scripture, but shouldn’t I really know more than basic facts about His Word?  Wouldn’t it be great if I could become a “WORD”-smith?

For example, as a child I was convinced that Adam and Eve ate an apple in the book of Genesis. The fruit is not actually named at all – it is referred to only as the fruit of “the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil”.   I have since discovered the reason this misconception has come about is most likely due to the fact that in Middle English, the word “apple” was used to refer to all fruit and nuts (except berries). Over the centuries, this word has stuck in reference to the Genesis fruit.

Or – how many, like me, believed that Paul was knocked off his horse when he was blinded?  Nope – misconception.  Scripture never says anything about Paul being so “floored.”

And contrary to popular belief, “Prodigal” means “characterized by a profuse or wasteful expenditure” – it is not a reference to leaving or returning.  The Prodigal referred to the way that he wasted his riches.

In that sense, aren’t we ALL prodigals of God’s riches in which He has entrusted us?

So over the years I’ve come to change my views on various topics.  Not so much that I’m wishy-washy.   More so people in my life have helped shape me.  If people give me a good reason to change – based on actual facts or scripture – I don’t mind.

In the end I feel I become the better person.

… this is a huge part of my journey …

For me this is a huge part of my journey as a recovering pharisee. After all, I’ve come to understand that some of whom I am is a result of my upbringing.  Some of it is past mentors.

These are MY views.  But don’t let that stop you from persuading differently.  Or offer your support.  Some of you might agree.  I’m sure some will disagree.  But comments make me understand my position better.  Or correct it.  Just don’t get personal in your attacks.

This is a post about my politics.  They say not to do this.  So just remember that I still on a journey.

First …

I personally don’t believe there is just one choice for a political party for Christians – I believe there are Christian Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Green Partiers and whatever other affiliations are out there.  None of them really pass the “Biblical Values” test in my opinion.

Certainly you might have one party closer on one issue or the other, but the party of the Christian?  Hardly.

I also believe there are issues that don’t require a “Christian” stance at all.  You can have an opinion but not necessarily based on Scripture.  But people try to make even those issues a biblical issue.

I used to be a hard-core Republican but lately I find I can align myself with the Democrats on more than a few issues.  Which is why I sometimes refer to myself as a Republicrat.  And when you take into consideration my Libertarian leanings I guess I become a Liberepublicrat.

I prefer small government but I would rather have good government – so sometimes that might result in big government.  I try to be a fiscally conservative but believe the government must expend funds on things for the better good – which means I’m not always going to agree on how my taxes are spent.  I’m for free trade because it is good for the world not just America – a better world ultimately means America will have other countries that can afford to share the burden of foreign aid.  I believe we should be better stewards of our environment but I’m not a tree-hugger by any means – sometimes the best stewardship means you actually use the resources God made.

I think women should get equal pay for equal work.  This is a no-brainer.  But equally I am not a huge fan of allowing women and minorities to go to the head of the line to “make up” for past discrimination.  Which means I’m also not a big fan of reparations.  Why can’t we just correct issues and move on without everyone thinking we owe them something.

I support taking care of the poor.  When possible I also believe in holding them accountable to rise above their circumstances.  Proverbs say that when we are kind to the poor we lend to God.   I guess politically this is a bone of contention.  I don’t necessarily believe that it is the government’s job to decide which of the poor get my charity – but if the church fails then someone has to do it.  The church hasn’t done a great job of giving assistance to the widows, orphans, or poor.  Sometimes we as church people despise those looking for a handout.  Perhaps if we did a better job the government wouldn’t have to.

I suppose I will surprise a lot of people because although I am spiritually against same-sex marriage (as I am spiritually against adultery and divorce), I lean politically against depriving gays of certain civil rights.  I have gay friends.  It hurts that they have chosen to actively participate in their particular lifestyle.  I can’t scripturally condone their lifestyle, but I can still be friends in the same way that I have other friends and family that might participate in their own destructive lifestyles.  And certainly I can’t find good reason to restrict their civil rights any more than I can justify America’s one-time restriction of  inter-racial marriage or the non-citizenship of black people.  I suppose it boils down to my belief that you can’t legislate morality.  In times past America wasn’t successful in outlawing drinking.  But urgent prayer did shut down bars.  If we as Christians spent more time in prayer than in protests we might see hearts changed.

I don’t believe the government should get involved in school prayer – I certainly don’t want them writing prayers for our children.  But I also don’t believe a child should be prevented from praying, carrying their Bible, or talking to their friends about their beliefs if it doesn’t interfere with the education process.  I also wouldn’t want a child forced to pray, read certain religious materials, or ridiculed for their beliefs.  Discrimination goes both ways.  And both ways are evil.

I’m not a total pacifist but military spending is way out of line.  I don’t think we have to get involved in every skirmish around the world just because we have the power.  As a parent I tried to teach my children how to work out some of their own problems.  We might do better to let some nations work it out on their own.  Pull the reins in on military spending and possibly redirect it to education.

I certainly believe we should spend more on education because the Bible tells us to invest in the next generation.  Better  schools  with better tools to educate – to put our children on better footing for their future.  Perhaps we could pay teachers more.  Or let them go to college for a reduced rate.  Reward them somehow.  Teachers shouldn’t have to educate their students out of their own pockets.  I saw a bumper sticker one time that said the schools should have an unlimited budget and the military should have bake sales.  Perhaps a little drastic.

I’m a big fan of immigration.  Not so much of illegal immigration.  Not so much a fan of “anchor babies.” But I can certainly understand why people risk their lives to try to escape their situations.  I believe we should overhaul the entire immigration system.  Certainly we can’t round up every illegal and ship them out, but we could make progress by securing the border and easing the process to be in the country.  I don’t have all the answers.  Perhaps issue identifiable social security numbers that would allow them to work legally while earning citizenship.  Or three years of honorable service in the military.  Six years of tracked payroll records.  I think after a certain time period you get a clear indication of someone’s character.  I don’t have all the answers but there’s got to be a better system.

Well, there you have it.  I’m on record with a snapshot of what I believe.

Well, not everything I believe. I didn’t really hit on all of the hot buttons like abortion and such.

But I hit a few of them.  Obviously enough that I should generate some comments.  I like comments.

And I can’t run for political office because some of my outlined beliefs has opened the door to derision.

Plus I’ve admitted to changing my mind at times.  I certainly can’t be politician and do that.

Oh well.  I lost in high school when I ran for office so my career was already doomed.

If I had thought about it long enough I probably could have come up with different language, but this is a lighthearted way of stepping outside my box.

You’re welcome to not read if you don’t want to …

I encourage your comments.

_____________________________________________________________

Many years ago the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jew won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to leave.

The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe, to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however, could not speak Latin, and the Pope could not speak Yiddish. So it was decided that theirs would be a “silent” debate.   A debate with just gestures full of emotions.

On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Rabbi Moishe looked back and demonstrably raised his middle finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and chalice of wine. Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple.

With that the Pope stood up and said, “I concede the debate. This man has bested me. The Jews can stay.”

Later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope, asking him what had happened. The Pope said, “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up his middle finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?”

Meanwhile, the Jewish community crowded around Rabbi Moishe.

“What happened?” they asked.

“Well,” said Moishe, “First he said to me, ‘You Jews have three days to get out of here.’ So I said to him, ‘Up yours’.

Then he tells me the whole city would be cleared of Jews. So I said to him, ‘Listen here Mr. Pope, the Jews… we stay right here!”

“And then?” asked a woman.

“Who knows?” said Rabbi Moishe. “He took out his lunch, so I took out mine.”

_____________________________________________________________

Certainly both men saw the same emotion and gestures.  Both men interpreted them differently.

Having been in church for many years I have misinterpreted the actions of others.

I’ve condemned those whom I considered sinners as well as those that professed to be Christ-like.

I was admittedly cynical and second-guessed as to whether their actions were genuine or contrived.

I prided myself on determining intent from simply seeing a picture.

I forgot to get the beam out of my eye while striving to extract the splinters from others.

This week the Apostle Paul’s words were made real to me when he stated, “I am less than the least of sinners …”

No matter how much grace I have received from God, I can never get beyond the place where I am still reckoned a sinner.  If Paul himself considered the “chief of sinners” then how dare I lay claim to anything higher?

Rebranding is ok sometimes …

My sister, who grew up in the same legalistic dysfunctional family, said, “Rebranding is ok sometimes if it helps get you down the road doing the mission you need to do. The focus just needs to be in getting the job done…”

So I’m rethinking the rebranding process.

After all, by saying I’m a “recovering pharisee” aren’t I rebranding myself once again?  For the better?  I’m admitting that I am a “rough draft” that is in need of rework.  Perhaps what you knew as Bill was in error and I today I am “new and improved.”

So yes, I am still an unfinished product but perhaps I need to quit apologizing for my flaws.  After all, it IS my flaws that continually remind me that this journey isn’t about me nor is it over.

“The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.  … Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.  Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.”  – portions of Romans 12, The Message translation

I look at the Apostle Paul who emphatically stated, “O wretched man that I am.”

Here was a man who had done so much for God but still saw his flaws.  He was himself a recovering pharisee.

If a mentor to many could publicly write that he was wretched, who am I to believe that I’ve arrived?

I hereby present the same problem-prone legalistic dysfunctional person to the public but hopefully in a more transparent honest way.

And this time I’m asking for a little help.  I’m asking for accountability for my actions.

When you see me step out of line don’t assume I have recognized my error.  Tell me.

Perhaps in a private email or instant message or face-to-face.  Always with love.

But tell me.

It isn’t because I don’t have things to say.  I actually have four posts that I started but haven’t completed for one reason or another.

Some of the lack is a result of a suddenly busy schedule.  But that’s just be an excuse.

Some of it is because I moved a few miles across town.  But then, I posted during that move so that would just sound lame.

I’m tired.  I’m busy.  I don’t have much to say.  It all boils down to excuses.

I get these really great thoughts – at least they’re great in my head – but then can’t seem to put them into words.

And sometimes I come across a video that I want to springboard off of.  I write a couple of paragraphs and then hit a wall.

I wonder if any of the biblical authors hit a wall in their writing.  Did the Holy Spirit ever prompt one of them and they didn’t respond?  Was there someone that was supposed to write a book or letter or story but made excuses.

God will always find someone to write His message.  Which means that somewhere in history He asked someone to write and they didn’t.  He asked someone to tell The Story and they didn’t.

Ultimately He found someone else.  Because His message is too important to not be told.  To be put off until it is convenient for the writer.

Don’t misread me.  I’m not saying that my message is canonical.

Maybe – just maybe – though, my message is important enough to SOMEONE that I NEED to write.

I enjoy writing and up to this point I’ve made excuses.  I’ve written when I want to.  When it was convenient.

Four drafts sit on hold.  Partially complete.

So that is why I’m writing about my inconsistency.

Maybe it will allow me to get back in the flow of writing and quit making excuses.

But we never did.  Evidently only dweebs owned station wagons.

But station wagons evolved to minivans and became cool.  For awhile.

I’ve never owned one, but I’ve known people who have.  They don’t seem to be big fans.

Which is probably why I never bought one.

Apparently you give off dweeb vibes if you own one.  It makes you uncool.  You’ve crossed over to the world of busy parenthood and suburbia.

But what could be better than a vehicle that held your entire family plus had sliding doors and folding seats?

Want to join a school carpool?  Haul bulky cargo?  Go camping?  Minivan is the choice.

Unless you have an ego.

So over the years automakers have tried to rebrand the minivan.

As a Christian I’ve tried to rebrand myself on several occasions.

In college I tried to portray myself as having all the answers.  As a young adult I wanted to be known as a spiritual leader.

In the end I looked foolish.

That’s why now I just want to be real.

Christ doesn’t need to be repackaged.  I just need to be a better reflection.

Unfortunately at times I’ve been a poor reflection.  Sort of like a muddy pool with poor lighting.  I was dark.  Gloomy.  Authoritarian instead of authoritative.

It caused me to put conditions on salvation.  And question the salvation of others.

I forgot it is through Christ Alone.  By Faith Alone.  By Grace Only.  And that all glory is due to God alone.

I don’t want to simply be a follower of Christ.  I want to become like Christ.

And so my journey continues.

It was, however, a tiring, tedious, and still uncompleted move.  13 years in one spot results in a LOT of stuff.  Mostly useful stuff, mind you, but also much that was outdated – or damaged – to be discarded or left behind.

As we continue to unpack we’re discovering stuff we don’t really need … and remembering what was left behind.  It leaves me wondering what alien packed our belongings – leaving out important stuff  yet bringing the unneeded.

Understand that we absolutely love our new abode.   My wife really knows how to make a home welcoming.  And it’s a perfect fit for us – contemporary – friendly neighbors – single story – well insulated.  The “good” list continues to grow.

But at the same time we had to downsize.  Which resulted in some tough choices as to what was going to continue to be a part of our active life.  Or live out its usefulness in a box in the garage.

Some choices can be rectified.  Others are permanent.  Down the road we might want to have some “do overs.”  Make new choices.  Choices that would make better sense for the new house.

In my journey with God it’s easy to get stuck in one place too long.   And introspectively I have “accumulated” a lot of stuff over the years.

Misconceptions about people.  Misperceptions of churches.  Misunderstandings of  scripture.

For example, pretty much all my life I have heard – and ultimately believed – that in John 10:10 Jesus was saying satan was a thief.  I would venture that a multitude of ministers quote this scripture and say that Satan is a thief that has come to steal, kill, and destroy.

I have no doubts that he is.

But in truth, this verse is a continuation of Jesus’ healing a man on the Sabbath in chapter 9.  Pharisees were upset and Jesus said that they were really thieves and robbers.  He was the true shepherd.

They pretended to be good men but were false.  They came to steal joy.  And much more.

Over the years I overlooked that this scripture might refer to my actions.  And now I wonder whom I’ve maimed.  Or killed. Or destroyed.

And what conceptions … perceptions … understandings do I need to keep?  Or discard?

My understanding of scripture is some of the “stuff” that has to be evaluated – and reevaluated – as I move forward.

I pray God gives me clarity.

Because I don’t want to be a thief any more.

I’ve been angry at times.  I’ve disliked some people.  I’ve chosen to walk away from relationships I believed weren’t healthy.  Or pushed them away.  All without hatred.

Without judgment is a different story.

I’ve prayed that God would judge people harshly.  Teach them a lesson.  Show them just how wrong they were (and how right I was).  I wanted them to feel regret – remorse.

After all, God is vengeful.  My mother often said in her King James speak, “Vengeance is mine saith the Lord!”

In essence, my prayers were intended to remind God that He was vengeful.  That He needed to take care of business.  I wanted Him to know that I was on His side.  I was looking for ways He could show up.

I was scouting the enemy for God.  And proud of it.

Today my sister posted a quote by Anne Lamott, a progressive political activist.  There was a time that I would’ve stopped at “progressive political activist” and found something else to read.  But her quote grabbed me and took me further down the path of my journey.

“You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” (Traveling Mercies)

Now, truthfully, I don’t know much about Anne save what I read on wikipedia.  But the quote itself got me thinking about my perception of God and how deeply it affects my perception of people.  And ultimately how I treat people. Because when I see people through the colored lens of how I think God sees them, I’m wrong.

Jesus reminded me in Luke 6:31-36 that I don’t need special powers to love the lovable. The Message Bible puts it this way,

Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.  I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

In other words, I’m not supposed to love people because of what I’ll get in return.  I’m supposed to love them in spite of what I’ll get in return.

Can I learn to love someone who doesn’t appreciate my sacrifice?  Who takes me for granted? Who isn’t nearly as kind as I am.

If I can, it will give God glory.  It’s what will help me appreciate His love for me, because God loves me in spite of what I’ll give in return.

I’m too busy.  Yet He waits.

I accuse Him of not living up to his end of the bargain of vengeance.  Yet He shows mercy.

God loves me anyway.

I hope my recognition of who I am will enable me to make the journey away from chains of legalism towards liberty in Christ.

My past is filled with judgment.  Growing up in a legalistic family, if you looked like you were a sinner, then you were.  If you dressed like a sinner … if you talked like one … if your lifestyle said “sinner,” then you were obviously one.

So I learned to condemn. Condemnation. What an evil word.   But I shied away from the label condemnation.  I chose to used scripture instead.

“You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act.   … A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”   Matthew 7:16-20

I skipped right over the fact that Jesus was referring to “false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.”  I obviously also skipped over the part of the chapter that cautioned me not to judge …

Pah!  Such trivial facts!

I condemned sinners while giving myself a “high five” for what a great man of God I was. People could see that – I didn’t drink or smoke.  I went to church on Sundays and Wednesday nights.  I could quote a lot of scriptures.   I even listened to christian radio.  Dr. J. Vernon McGee had gotten me through the Bible in just five years.

It’s hard being a Recovering Pharisee.  I want to tell people the error of their ways.  Don’t they know they’re going to hell? Shouldn’t I tell them?  This same chapter also says, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.”

I still believe sin must be confronted.  I don’t want to dilute the good news.  The message is too strong and too important.   But I want people to respect the message I deliver.  I need to do it with love.  Essentially I need to develop relationships that allow me to speak words of life.

I’m not going to change over night.  I’ve been traveling this journey for a long time and I still have a ways to go.  But with the help of friends, family, co-workers, and the Holy Spirit, I am changing.

My name is Bill.  I am a Pharisee.